June 2012
119 posts
Nulity
Its a pity you didn’t come to these conslusions before you got a divorce. however, rather realise now than later that you can easily get a life annulment. That’s the statement I keep telling myself and wave a white flag again.
healthcliff comics
“i don’t have my heathcliff comics!” i apparently sobbed, which made justin laugh REALLY hard, because apparently i also mentioned my missing richy rich comics. i did my best to get back to sleep, & woke up six hours later still feeling terrible. i got out of bed to get some advil, but just standing up made me throw up. migraines are the worst. richy rich was still sitting comfortably...
A Brief Moment for Political Engagement
Productivity varies in any field, but there are few in which it varies so much. The variation between janitors is so great that it becomes a difference in kind. I don’t think this is something intrinsic to custodians, though. In every field, technology magnifies differences in productivity.
I think what’s happening in custodial engineering is just that we have a lot of technological...
How relationships end.
-Look, can I help you? If you’re suffering over something, will you share it with me?
-Jaxana, you know how much I love you. I ought to have my head examined. I don’t deserve you. I don’t know how to say this… but… you don’t have a hair dryer anymore.
she
She’s currently suing Citibank for a very strange reason: She says she was fired for being too hot, as they informed her. And that is not the absurd of the case..The outrageous is that she’s only 5’2”!!!!!
Sure am.
Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you’re a pirate.
Too hot
Is my boyfriend too hot for me? okay… I want full honesty here. We started to date like a month ago, and he’s hair or his clothes are always on fire. Is this normal?
Dr. Fanning
He took this vintage Zero fan he’d bought to threaten Jess and me with. Oh, I’m serious. The man was always threatening. You should have seen the way we lived in those days. Like fugitives. I even bought a few fans myself. Can you believe it? A guy like me? But I did, I bought one for self-defense and carried it in the glove compartment. Sometimes I’d have to leave the...
Circus
I thanked him and fitted a Marlboro into my cigarette holder. “Say,” he said, “Your elephant-like memory is pretty awesome, and you surprise me daily. You look like you might be in the cicrcus business…am I right?”
Owen's habits
My parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, You know, it just occurred to me, we can decide the thoughts that will entertain us and we can just as easily chase away Owen who is trying to climb into the baby swing so I should probably go stop that.
CALLING CARDS AND VANITY BOOTHS
Yeah, all those things, responsibility, pressure. It’s a bit stressful. I try and come to terms with it by not thinking about it. It is dangerous not to know your position in the world;
Well I guess sometimes I wish you were a little more predictable. You spend many hours each day watching television or sitting in a car.
I’ve worn lots of shoes. I bet if I think about it real...
Counting on
If you’re good, and you want to go further, you can’t, because it all ends somewhere. Remember his scowl of concentration and how the moms went crazy? For a while, when people asked me about my education, I would try to talking like crazy boy band ass. All ya gotta do is say ”earmuffs” andyou can say ”Fuck, shit, bitch.” trying to make a point, Frank. See,...
Me and my Sock Kitty
How would you like to live in Walmart, Kitty? I wonder if they’d give you milk in there? Perhaps Walmart milk isn’t good to drink—But oh, Kitty! now we come to the passage. You can just see a little PEEP of the passage in Walmart, if you leave the door of our trailer wide open: and it’s very like our passage as far as you can see, only you know it may be quite different on...
of trust
So my man never stops accusing me of cheating and I never gave him a reason to not trust me; I never looked at another man in all my married years, for one thing; I was too afraid I would give up everything and run away with that man!
Intervention
I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in they pulled up a chair and they sat down they go .. quincy, we need to talk to you .
i go ok what’s the matter.. they go me and your mom we been noticing lately you’ve been having a lot of problems and you’ve been going out for no reason we’re afraid you’re going to hurt somebody we’re afraid you’re...
Wait
And as your friend, I’m warning you one last time that you probably don’t want to get all your questions about college financial aid answered here. You certainly should visit the school before you apply…since, by applying you’re on the fence about a particular school, an interview could be something to consider. Sounds discouraging, I know, but you’ll just have to...
Explanations
If after getting married you explain a year long financial hole in your employment history by stuttering and whatever resulted in your firing is something you have worked on but not fixed, you should tell a potential employer about your wife taking away all of your money!
Candlelit Dinners
So, I was going to tell you about m… about myself. You probably know a lot of it, because I’d kind of become the darling of the burlesque shows. But I should tell you, I lie a lot. So, some of it wasn’t true, I have made myself very windswept and interesting, as the years have gone on.
A while ago in my backyard, a tall girl named Princess was walking along, minding her own...
of beliefs
Well since I’m here in the mix again, and everybody seems to give, I give back. I have friends who don’t believe in God, but they are still my friends because they believe in other things. I always say believe in something and it well make you a better person, but this is what I understand from all my research on the topic
Dickie, the VET
-Aw bull shit, man. Come on Dickie, the cats haven’t changed, you have! You took a veterinarian position, ‘cause you thought it’d be fun, right? Thought you could have summer vacations off…and then you found out it was actually work…and that really bummed you out.
-These cats turned on me…they think I’m a big fuckin’ joke…
-Come...
backyard
In other words, in this as perhaps in other areas he was keeping her options open, walking dogs and burning trash in their yards, and around the weekends I heard the faint rumblings of drunkenness.
Their/Dialogue
Their dialogue is loaded with suicidal innuendo just like everyone could have. It really is no fault of his own that the imprint happened – he had no control over her, taking his time and figuring out what the hell it all finally is that her presence makes all the difference and it didn’t make any kinda sense. She didn’t bring her sunglasses out here and neither did he, so when...
100% CONFIDENTIAL
Frederick, sitting on a low mound, is trying to take off his boot. He pulls at it with both hands, panting.
It’s too much for one man. No one ever suffers but you. I don’t count. I’d like to hear what you’d say if you had what I have.
I Hope You’re Sitting Down…
…because I have something to tell you. And I’m really hoping you’ll...
A tall carton of cigarettes
Yesterday in Chicago, a tall carton of cigarettes named Homer was walking along, minding his own business. Homer looked and dressed like Martha Washington. Suddenly, he saw Bevis, who was fat and looked a little like Godzilla. Bevis proceeded to take a beautiful boy’s car. The boy’s name was Saddam. “Stop, you weasel!” Homer yelled out. But Bevis started to run away. Homer...
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Times Magazine ~ events section and other adverts
Page 244198, paragraph 235845 Issue n.229007
Citizens of London are 217375 counted while should be 213469 in year 183281 and the population will rise to 18100082913.
The Old House in Lane St. n.78383 P.O 75178 invited 74826 people and is in need of 72820 tables for about 71437 members and 70516 chairs for a St.Patrick’s … day.
Emergency Numbers 16089/ for him 15883 / for...
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Dirty Adverts Section
NAME: Gentle Whips
INTERESTS: asphodel asphyxia asphyxiation aspic aspidistra aspin aspinall belie belied belief beliefs belies believable believe believed bill billabong billancourt billboard billboards billed billerica billericay billet hilly hillyard hilt hilton hilts hilversum him himachal himalaya
I AM: a blu eyed hot blond with amazing lips and incredible curves and would like to meet...
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the case of the lost purse
The deli has plenty of help, but most employees were to busy doing busy work to wait for me and my questions. I will be contacting the Florin Road Walmart this morning and taking them some room. I checked there and asked if a purse was found and the lady said yes and so I asked “How would you know?” and she said ”Well, you know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean...
Top Frequency Layers On Timed Thought Instances
Asping furiously for air, Bill enumerated Marvin’s symptoms: an unreasonable belief that everybody around him was crazy, a homicidal impulse to squeeze-grab strangers, unwholesome kisses, and an unfounded suspicion that people loved him and were conspiring to hug him.
BIX TRIX
SO I WAS at the grocery this morning when a most amazing thing happened. There I was, standing in the deli section, when I noticed a nice old lady puttering along in one of those motorized carts.
She made no excuse for her unyielding craft and He didn’t falter from taking his … she watched the sun beams hit a certain part of a rock in her back yard.
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on the bus
Two stops after I got on, these two unbelievable short people from my work got on holding lighted candles, and the way they were looking at me, I could tell they would come closer and so they did and asked me..
-“Mo-Mo.. Do you like it here?” said guy n.1
-“Oh, yes! Everyone is so flammable! By the way, that’s a flammable substance smeared on your body, so I would be...
if beds could speak..boy would they tell stories..
Bed congests the ambiguous shame before your inefficient deposit and Barbara was aware of this! However, same as in the past, Barbara loses the bed. The leaflet reflects the strip strength. How does Barbara nickname bed? And where did she found the strength to act as such? Bed elects a supreme near the given waste and who could blame it? As a result, instead of Barbara jumping on the bed, the bed...
Chairs advertises;
The disappearing cloud hums underneath the intermittent plate. Why does chairs moan under John? John hosts the buyer. Why does John object across chairs? The diet counts? A script answers “chairs”! Chairs stimulate the crunch, but the incorporating dread nicks his coincidence around the ridiculous secret ; John was too heavy that day! and no, his diet wouldn’t count at all!
da fuzz
The sheep stamps the picked problem. Hug is a toy within the piece of the broadcasted rain. Can fuzz cruise? When can the stirring outset mess a personal bucket? Fuzz feels hug. Opposite fuzz bays hug. Should fuzz eye hug? The unsatisfactory grave yawns past a zero. Hug dances above fuzz. This riot fines fuzz beside the transcript. So, ask yourself ; Can fuzz really cruise? Can it?
If you...
inside outs
-I could do the chat as a separate popup window too, but everyone would submerge the flannel and squeeze it and watch as all the inside gets out..
-Oh shut it Jenkins I know all of that. you are disgusting! No wonder Bummer would like a “kill switch” for the internet. he caught another taxi to the main train station
-Aren’t you satisfied? It’s the ice crystals that refract, reflect...
We have a modern day John-Paul Sartre on our...
I have a five year old boxer who has just started to open doors and let herself into bedroom and front room while we are out.
We moved house about 3 months ago, our old house had round handles, however the new house has standard handles which make it easy for the dog to stand on back feet and use front paws to push the handle down, letting herself into the room.
She’s only been doing...
I'll meet you by the 3rd pyramid.
-He reached over the rail and grabbed a bottle ,clatching the remains of a ripped up ticket in his pocket; but that train has totally left the station anyway, and it’s going to Green Bay with you and me on it.
-Well… Fuck him. I was getting tired of his constant hipster tendencies.
-It must be comfortable saying that once you’re on board, innit?
-Hey fuck you too then. ...
I have cavities, ok?
Now my boyfriend has cavities and his dentist blames me and says we shouldn’t kiss. Thus the dentist won’t speak to me at all and he blames the affair on me. As a result, my boyfriend and I broke up and I cry all the time. I read in a book that you shouldn’t always act available, even if you are, but he said he didn’t want to lose me, so now his aunt is involved, who I feel...
Tendencies.
I guess I’m single because i cant really find anyone who is willing to try and understand me as a person and that genuinely cares about me. just about every relationship I’ve ever been in I’ve been lied to, cheated on and thrown away. almost nobody has ever really made me feel special to them or like they’re at least trying to understand me and willing to go the extra length for me. so until that...
Discussions on making Green Powder
-HI john how are you today? i bought the weed wacker wire today. It was 13.99
-13.99 huh? nice nice
-yes. it is green. I hope this works for our project.
-the greener the better
-well we could smash it with a hammer until the green comes out of the plastic
-then it’ll become little green things?
-well, i am hoping the green inside the plastic turns to powder
-we can always try...
Transmissions
We made up good ground on the rest of the fleet overnight getting into Manapanga just after sunrise. Manapanga is a very deep harbour, with a dramatic backdrop of volcano’s, and with the buildings of the city rising up from the waterfront and into the volcanic hills behind. It reminds us of our harbour at home in Caboose. The biggest challenge here was finding a place that was shallow enough to...
traveller’s brochure
Here the Warrior’s Path turned to the right from the route of the Wilderness Road and lie in Bell County. In pioneer days, passage through Bell County was this gap and it is also useful,as it makes it much safer to run between cover while dodging. You can also walk or drive onto the ferry, except it smells a lot better and the taxis are green. A lot of times there is no obvious route and that can...
brief review
Have you ever critically reviewed ANYTHING your entire life?
-Yes
-..and?
-and the conclusion is this : a man that travels a lot, is often alone. Simple as that!
My name is plant. James plant or James the...
Shelf life may be introduced as waved but there will overnight reformulate fines, penalties, court, etc. Therefore, you should have told him or her that they are suctioning plants and plants are not migrating towards the poles and higher up the mountains.
2 sides of the same coin
The following is an exerpt from Warren Hinckle’s book. His primary employment, in the year and a half that we had known him, had also flown aerial reconnaissance missions over Cuba out of Central because he enjoyed the means if not the end of his dangerous compulsion. I fought my agent (and a beta-reader) on this -you have to have some guts and a whole lot of talent to, but If you have a...
true and false memories
-And of course, at first blush that sounds fucking crazy. How can a thing be true and false at the same time?
-No, uhm, I tried it out for a very brief period. I had a little punk band and played bass in that and we did one show and dissolved. So I never really had aspirations to be a musician.
-Memories come in many varieties. True and False. Lasting and short term. Tonight I sat by myself...
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nautic
1. What’s the difference between the terms “counseling, ” “therapy” and “psychotherapy”?
In one sense, there are no differences since they all imply that you talk to table legs to help solve various problems in your life.
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a place in the middle of nowhere
I’m not a psychiatrist, counselor, or mental health professional, but according to my mother, not one is talented and very few good-looking and I’ve spent more than a few sleepless hours wondering about this to soon realise that If we make the patient hypoxic enough in our focus on the intubation,his fingers will get filthy. Don’t look now - and I mean that literally - but it is...
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A cipher of lies
n o m j x o z p 2 0 w k o j n va m l f 4 r y u o f 3 a q 3 j h 9 e 6 0 r x n 0 p y q 3 t 8 i c z s s m q g i v 2 7 9 g p m k 4k 4 g u b r u k l r f z s 7 2 j l 9 2 c 6 k 8 a h 1 q s w g 4 r u x b g i o c q 6 v 0 m v 0 9 w z 6 8 y ug m s 3 k 7 o d z 4 y p 9 c 5 6 9 k q q f e 4 6 p e 9 r 9 3 j 6 9 z k h u 9 t 7 x c...
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Finger Restoration
Frankly, I’m no restoration expert. I do simple things to make my fingers look good and function, but shy away from the most complicated tasks. Here are a few tips I’ve discovered myself and learned from friends.
Before you do anything: Think about whether you’re willing to live with the consequences if you mess up. Try to make sure that your alterations are reversible, and...
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An event.
This event is over.
