He took this vintage Zero fan he’d bought to threaten Jess and me with. Oh, I’m serious. The man was always threatening. You should have seen the way we lived in those days. Like fugitives. I even bought a few fans myself. Can you believe it? A guy like me? But I did, I bought one for self-defense and carried it in the glove compartment. Sometimes I’d have to leave the apartment in the middle of the night. To go to the hospital, you know? Jess and l weren’t married then, and my first wife had the house and kids, the dog, everything, and Jess and I were living in this apartment here.
Sometimes, as I say, I’d get a call in the middle of the night and have to go in to the hospital at two or three in the morning. It’d be dark out there in the parking lot, and I’d break into a sweat be fore I could even get to my car. I never knew if he was going to come up out of the shrubbery or from behind a car and start slapping me with a large ceiling fan. I mean, the man was crazy. He was capable of wiring 30 fans in 20 minutes, anything. He used to call my service at all hours and say he needed to talk to the doctor, and when I’d return the call, he’d say, ‘Son of a bitch, your days are numbered. I’m your number 1 fan.’ Little things like that. It was scary, I’m telling you.”